State of the Union

The big night is tonight, January 24th, President Obama's last State of the Union address, at least we can hope.
However, we shouldn't have to wait until the November election for this to be his last State of the Union.  This is the way tonight's speech should go.

The Sergeant-at-Arms makes his usual pronouncement of: "Mister Speaker, the President of the United States!"   Then the President makes his way down the main aisle, shaking hands, air kissing the women, the real close buddies get the double tap on the shoulder, all the while that million dollar smile ( some would say shit eating grin) is flashing around the chamber.  The President makes his way to the platform, takes out two envelopes with his remarks inside, gives one to the Speaker and the other one to the Vice-President.  He then turns and continues to absorb the applause.


This is the point where we get the usual platitudes that the country is on sound footing but faces many challenges.  Challenges only the Democrats can meet. But what we should get is something along the lines of this:

"Good Evening.  I'm here o report on the State of the Union.  You expect the usual comforting statements, grandiose plans, and other glittering generalities.  But tonight I must report our situation is dire.  Things are royally screwed up and it's my fault.  Therefore, following the lead of my predecessor, Lyndon Baines Johnson, I'm informing the nation and those of you in this chamber tonight that I will not seek nor will I accept the nomination of my party for President of the United States. I could resign right now but that would leave you and the country's future in the hands of  Vice-President Biden and none of us want to see that.  So  I'll do my best to hold things together till next January but I will need a lot of help from across the aisle.


Michelle and the girls will stay in Washington until school is out in the spring.  Then, they'll take Air Force One back to Chicago.  Get settled in over the summer and enroll in a neighborhood school next fall.  As for me, I'll also head back to Chicago at the end of my term.  Most likely I'll return to private law practice.  I'll also spend some time constructing my Presidential Library but that won't take long as I have few achievements to highlight.  In fact, there are so few that constructing a massive edifice is uncalled for.  Instead, I will rent some space from former President Bill Clinton at his library in Arkansas.

Good Evening and God bless these United States."

At least that's the way tonight should go.